THIS WEEK IN...LOSING - CLINTON STYLE! This week was the end of the beginning of the end and the beginning of the real beginning of the end for Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign.
The former first lady lost a primary in North Carolina (by a lot) and won in Indiana (by very little). Pundits, politics, and most of America are saying it's time for Mrs. Clinton to throw in the towel and call it a day. But Mrs. Clinton, who has referred to herself as Rocky Balboa several times now, vows to stay in it until the end. Of the world.
THIS WEEK IN...DOUCHE BAG MARRIAGES! The stars aligned last week and all my prayers were answered when my two favorite celebs got married. That's right, Hollywood super-couple Mariah Carey (Glitter!) and Nick Cannon (Day of The Dead!) made it official. He's gonna make an honest woman out of here! And in the same week that Cameron Diaz and Ashton Kutcher are plastered all over television and the internet promoting their new Oscar contender What Happens in Vegas. This is the week for annoying celebrities! Where's Lauren Conrad? Or R. Kelly? Gene Simmons, you showing up or not? C'mon! The more annoying celebrities, the better!
THIS WEEK IN...HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE NATURAL DISASTERS! A devastating cyclone tore through Myanmar this week, killing as many as 500,000 people. The leaders in that country are complicating rescue attempts with their militaristic rule, preventing many from getting the help they truly need. This is actually terribly depressing and I can't think of anything witty to say. Thanks a lot, Mother Nature! You ruin my jokes yet again!
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